Movie Time
by SaturnXK
Summary: The Spiders decide one day to go to the movies.


**This is supposedly humour, but I'm not sure it's all that funny. I feel as though this fanfic has moved a little fast. Maybe I should elaborate on some bits. Review?**

**Note: Danchou is on a mission, and Pakunoda and Ubogin have accompanied him.**

One day, the Genei Ryodan decided to go to the movies. Don't ask why, it was just a spur of the moment decision made by Shalnark. Actually, no, they did have a reason, and it was once again decided by our little mega-brained electronic freak.

Two days ago...

"What? So you guys have never been to the movies?" Shalnark's voice was incredulous. The other nine member gave him a "so what?" look. Shalnark had been in the process of explaining how a video works to Shizuku, when he gave an example, which happened to have the word "movie" in it.

"Ne, what's a movie?" Shizuku asked. Shalnark blinked at her.

"Yeah, what's a movie?" Phinks asked.

"You know. The place where everyone sits down and there's this big screen with moving people on it and stuff," Shalnark said, hoping that would know. They didn't.

"Well, a movie is a..." but before Shalnark could finish his lecture, Feitan cut across him with a lazy, "Shut mouth, Shalnark." Shalnark sighed, and ran a hand through his sandy-brown hair. Then, a bright idea started to form in his mind. Machi, seeing this, began to worry. Every time his eyes lit up like that, it always meant bad news.

"Shalnark, whatever it is you're planning, don't drag us into it," Machi hissed. But Shalnark had already proposed his idea.

"Hey guys, why don't we go watch a movie, so you can see what it's all about?" Shalnark asked enthusiastically. Everyone stared at him.

"Why not? There's nothing else to do anyway," Franklin rumbled. Kortopi and Bonolenov sighed, but nodded, both of them not uttering a word. Machi and Feitan both gave Shalnark a cold glare, but agreed. Hisoka gave a chilling cackle. Nobunaga shrugged. Phinks nodded and Shizuku gave a monotone "yeah". Shalnark sighed at his unenthusiastic team mates, but he still went along with his idea.

"Okay, in two days, we are going to the movies," Shalnark said.

Now...

"Uh, are you sure we're in the right place?" Nobunaga asked. Shalnark nodded.

"Ah, I haven't been here in ages," Shalnark said. "I came here once before I went to Meteor City." The other members stared up in bored fascination. They were in a shopping centre, and a huge one at that.

There were the typical clothing stores, candy stores, book stores, general stores and food courts. There was so much to steal from here!

Feitan gave a lazy glance around, and so did the other members. They didn't seem very impressed, considering that it was the first time any of them had actually been inside a shopping mall.

Of course, people gawked and pointed at the Ryodan's strange attire. Franklin who looked like a monster, Hisoka in his magician's outfit, Feitan's bandit clothes, Bonolenov in his bandages, the faceless Kortopi, Phinks in his Egyptian robes and Machi in her modified kimono. Only Shalnark and Shizuku didn't seem out of place. And let's not forget Nobunaga, who was critically examining a pair of fake swords and complaining, well, it was more like shouting, loudly to the shopkeeper.

"This is a violation of the pride of a samurai! How dare you mock us with these fake, useless pieces of plastic? You have disgraced us all! Look! Look at this! It's not even sharp, how do you expect us to fight with these things? They're not even the right colour! Have you ever seen a sword that is red, blue and gold? No! And have you ever seen a sword that can bend its blade in this way? No!"

"Okay, Nobunaga, that's enough," Shalnark said nervously, dragging a still shouting Nobunaga away from the shopkeeper, who looked as though he was going to cry. Shalnark sighed. And then he saw Kortopi.

"No! Kortopi! Put that wig back!" Shalnark yelled, hurrying to put back a bright blue wig back in the hairdresser's salon. Kortopi glared at him as though he had just taken away a new toy.

"Nice headpiece," Phinks said approvingly, holding up an Egyptian headdress. Machi had wandered away and she found herself staring at some threads in a fabric shop.

"Che, these threads are so weak," Machi murmured, staring critically at them.

Meanwhile, Shizuku was looking at a range of vacuums, while Hisoka was amusing himself by playing darts with his cards at a bunch of balloons.

Franklin was lumbering around when he spotted some fake guns in a toy shop and headed for them.

Bonolenov saw a spook shop and had gone inside to study a life sized figure of a mummy.

Feitan was looking at an array of knives in a kitchen store, and Shalnark?

Well, Shalnark was close to losing it. He ran around trying to get all the Ryodan members back in one place, but they kept on wandering away again.

"GUYS!" Shalnark hollered, causing the whole of the shopping centre to fall silent. "That's enough looking around, now get back here." Amazingly, they all went back to Shalnark, and everyone else began their shopping again, but they steered well clear of the strange group. Shalnark sighed.

"Okay, we're here to watch a movie, not go shopping. Now can we please get to the cinema?" Shalnark begged. They all nodded. Shalnark slapped his forehead and lead them to the cinema. This day was going to be harder than he anticipated.

Later...

"So, what do you guys want to watch?" Shalnark asked cheerfully. They all looked at him blankly. "Sorry, forgot that you guys haven't done this before." He looked at the list of movies on for the day.

"Let's watch _Spider's Blood._ Sounds interesting, doesn't it? And it's a horror movie as well," Shalnark said. The other members just stared at him.

"Oh come on guys, lighten up," Shalnark sighed.

_Ah well,_ he thought, _maybe they'll be more zealous when they watch it. Hopefully._

The Spiders just walked into the cinema, not bothering to pay. Amazingly, no one noticed. They entered the dark room, and Nobunaga tripped.

"Ow!" he moaned, getting up. "Why is the room dark? And why are there steps in the middle of nowhere?" Shalnark didn't attempt to explain. He led his comrades up and into a row.

A second later, there was a crash. Shalnark winced. Franklin had broken one of the seats.

"Oops," Franklin said. The other people in the cinema were yelling.

"Someone call the manager!" a woman shouted. Shalnark stuck his antenna into her to shut her up. After a while, everyone started to calm down, and Franklin sat on the steps. Feitan was having some trouble seeing, thanks to his shortness.

"If people no move, I go kill," Feitan said, his hand glowing with nen. Shalnark hastily picked up the small assassin and plopped him on Franklin's shoulders. Feitan turned back to Shalnark with a snarl.

"I no baby. I kill you," Feitan hissed.

"No real fighting," Shizuku reminded him.

Feitan glared at her, hopped off Franklin and sat down on the seat next to him, although this time, he was sitting on the top of the seat.

Kortopi, being small himself, copied him. The rest of the Ryodan had settled down well enough.

After five minutes of ads, the movie started.

There were heaps of dead bodies, blood and murder, everyone in the room shook and screamed and one man ran out. Everybody, that is, except the ten people sitting in the back row.

They all had on the same, identical this-is-so-fake look.

After a while of this, Bonolenov had fallen asleep.

Hisoka was sitting uncomfortably close to Machi; and Machi wasn't even paying attention to the movie; she was trying to keep Hisoka away from her.

Phinks and Feitan were playing cards in the dim light of the cinema, and after a while, Shizuku and Kortopi joined in.

Shalnark and Nobunaga were making bets on how the movie would end, and Franklin was sitting with his chin on his hand, staring glassy-eyed at the screen. He sorely wished that the people would stop screaming, it was getting on his nerves, and it wasn't even real.

At one point in the movie, the manager came in, and took one look at the four people playing cards, the two people betting, one asleep, the other staring into space and the "couple" who were hissing at each other, and immediately went to the two males betting. The sandy-brown head seemed the nicest out of all of them.

"I was complained to that you and your friends are making too much noise," the manager said in a whisper to Shalnark. Feitan laughed.

"Loud noise? Why you no tell the screamers to shut mouth?" Feitan said. The manager shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, you just talk too loud during your game of, um, cards," the manager explained, motioning to the four Ryodan members.

It was true, every fifteen minutes; Phinks would let out a colourful string of swear-words to Kortopi, who kept on winning. Shalnark, growing tired of the manager, stuck an antenna into him and made him walk out the door. The rest of the movie passed without incident.

When the two hour movie finally ended, the Spiders got up and stretched. Franklin woke Bonolenov up. They trooped out of the cinema, and Shalnark retrieved his antenna from the woman and the manager.

"That was a waste of time," Machi said. Hisoka giggled. The other members agreed.

"Oh well, now you know what a movie is," Shalnark said.

"Yeah, a movie is a thing where people kill time looking at flat people in a screen," Nobunaga yawned.

"Really?" Shizuku said. Shalnark sighed. He had sighed so many times these past few days.

"Well, at least I got some sleep," Bonolenov said.

"I won money," Kortopi murmured.

"Whatever. Let's go back to the hideout," Phinks muttered. The ten Spiders got out of the noisy shopping mall and back to their hideout to do their own things, which were better than any horror movie or shopping centre combined.

End.


End file.
